Water Fast: Early Morning Musings

Early mornings are my time.

The quiet. The still.

Before the children upstairs begin to stir. Only those children are not so small anymore.

One is 19 and cozied up to her girlfriend. One is 17, on his last loop around his high school track. One is nearly 13, the littlest one.

So much has changed, and yet so much has stayed the same.

I am still a single mother, heartbroken over the broken family, even though ten years have come and gone.

I did finally glue all those broken pieces back together. I was unable to find some of the pieces. Maybe I didn’t look hard enough. But for the most part, my heart is back together.

I’m still struggling to find my career path. Unfortunately, being a mother and having this desire to write prevents me from taking the plunge into a teaching career: that and significant self-doubt. I did, however, obtain my MA. And that fills me with pride.

I am on the fourth day of the water fast. I am still drinking black coffee. The aroma is filling the living room as my fingers move across the keyboard at this very second, and it brings back so many memories of so many other early mornings when I sat in the quiet, in the still, of this room with three sleeping children upstairs.

Only those children are not so little anymore.

Yes, so much has changed, and so much has stayed the same.

Categories: Lotus

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